Right now I feel like I’m drifting at sea with no sight of light houses or even stars to guide me, I’m at a loss for direction. With my photography in particular and with my life to an extent. I realised that since my application got rejected by Fabrica last September, those questions I asked myself, I still haven’t been able to answer them. How much do I want Fabrica, how much do I want photography? I still don’t know.
I know I need some sort of guidance, I need more time, maybe I just need a change. Today I was even thinking about taking a short break from photography. I’m not sure if I’m up to Fabrica standard yet, so I’ve been hesitant as to whether I should apply again, yet I don’t want to give up so easily. Their cut off age is 25, this June I turn 24, I’m feeling some pressure. But surely Fabrica isn’t the only suitable avenue, but what else is there? I’ve no idea, I don’t think I want to get a bachelor of arts, or do I? I think you can see that I really do need some guidance.
I should just take off and go travel right? I’ve been thinking about this trip for so long and now that it’s so close, (I plan to go traveling from April) that I’ve been finding it really daunting. Little me in big wide world, the excitement and the fear mixed together. The comfort zone I so desperately want to break out of, yet I’m so scared to break out of it.
I think I’ll go travel first, I may put together an application to Fabrica before I take off, or maybe a solo exhibit. But I think I need some inspiration above all, new attractions, distractions even.
I feel much better now, I needed to air my thoughts. This was a selfish post but I hope you all can understand. After all, this is what blogging is about right?!
